Day 73 – Four Starters and a Funeral

Based on Sarah’s nightmare and a partial reality of what might happen tonight!

Word count: 641

Pots boiling, sauce bubbling, herbs infusing, onions sautéing, bacon sizzling. Mouthwatering mozzarella melting over golden roasting tatties and vegetables chopped, drowning in hot honey. The table was set. Glasses, cutlery and napkins regimentally guarding anticipating plates; everything sparkled in a festive sheen and a warm hunger roamed the atmosphere. The bottles of sparkling wine and strawberry cider were prepped for being poured into the glass. Everyone was primed for a wonderful evening and fantastic food.  That was how it was meant to be, anyway.

Instead the tatties were almost on fire, the bacon was burnt, the onions were blackened and the herbs had missed their destination and were all over the worktop. The fire alarm was ringing an impenetrable din. A plate had already been smashed and Daz was already sozzled. By half two in the afternoon, he’d gobbled the last of his secret stash of cider. But this was nothing compared to how up with the cats Eibhilin was. She was sniggering to herself in the corner, clutching her hip flask and trying to drain ever last drop of the whisky out of it. Meanwhile Stephanie and Jess were throwing insults at each other on the stair. Stephanie wasn’t pulling her weight and was curled up in bed magnetized to some computer game. Jess had been pouring cups of tea for everyone all day and had chopped all the vegetables herself. Ludivine was in tears because the cheese used for the main course wasn’t French. Sarah had simply snapped. She was hovering over the gas hob, flame lit and smiling insanely to herself as she lit strips of kitchen roll on fire.

It was a complete disaster. The cat was licking up the ocean of sauce that had been spilt over by the kitchen. Dessert had long been forgotten about by being left on the shelf in the shop. The oven had switched itself off; the pilot light had gone out again so there was no hot water and absolutely no heating. The leak in the roof was now dripping down to the ground floor and a storm cloud had just erupted above the house.

Eibhilin threw her empty hip flask across the room in a tantrum. Daz was prancing around with his pants on his head singing about how he was so gay. Sarah had just set fire to the entire roll of kitchen roll, from which she had jumped back, let the roll slip from her hand and watched with glee in her eyes as the fiery roll tumbled across down the worktop and across the kitchen floor. Sammy the cat bolted from the room. Jess, who was storming into the kitchen in a huff from Stephanie’s dogmatic lethargy, screamed as she saw the fire cylinder ignited the apparently potent sauce on the floor. Then the doorbell rang.

Daz raced to the front door to answer. All Sarah, Jess and Eibhilin (though she was entirely in a world of her own) could hear was Daz’s effeminate below as he opened the door to whoever was there.

“Oo Sarah! There’s a strange bunch at the door!”

Sarah poked her head partially out from the side of the kitchen door.

“Hello!” she said, fire lighting her gorgeous blue eyes.

Eight very strange and very strangely dressed in black figures were at the front door.

“Come in, come in!” Daz invited them, prancing around the hallway like a Morris Dancer.

The eight dark figures filed in like monks.  Sarah gestured them to go into the kitchen. Eibhilin threw up a rude gesture with her hand as they arrived.

“Would you like a cup of tea?” Jess smiled from beside the pool of blue fire.

All eight nodded in unison.

“Yes, please. We’ve just been to a funeral,” they said simultaneously.

“Well feck off!” Eibhilin yelled from her position under the table.

~ by S.G. Mark on December 19, 2011.

One Response to “Day 73 – Four Starters and a Funeral”

  1. HAHAHAhahahaha! ace

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