Day 162 – The Mistake

Word count: 534

The day that you realize your regret is painful. The floods of tears would put Victoria falls to shame and the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach will rival any hangover ever experienced. No matter what time of day or night it happens, the sky will darken and there will be some sort of rain. Any form of communication will be rejected and the next morning will seem an eternity away. But what is worse is seeing a field of regret before you, when you only have one direction you can take.

Michael was sitting on the fence post by this field. An eternity of struggle lay before him. He knew that it was not the right decision to make, but it was too late to change his mind or to back out now. There was no choice. What had to be done had to be done.
Michael felt sick. In reality he was at the altar, his wife walking down the aisle in her beautifully expensive ivory gown. On one side sat his family – his parents, his brother and his sisters. Screeds of relatives that he had only ever met at funerals and as a child were waiting on his sweet vows to his gorgeous fiancé. On the other side were his future relatives, who would eat him alive if he were to divorce Rachel, never mind cancel the whole thing before it began.
It was not that he did not love Rachel, because he did, he just did not want to be with her. They were different people. They had different interests, different goals. They could speak about the most strange things together, but it just did not feel as close as it should be, as real as love could be. Michael had known for some time that he felt this way. After a two year long engagement, it was only once the venue, the photographer, the flowers, the dress and the wedding invites had been sent out that he realized what was actually happening to him.
Rachel was getting closer. Michael felt the ring in his pocket growing hotter and hotter. What was he getting into? Years of an unhappy marriage, children and fighting – was that what he was letting himself – and Rachel – in for? Why was he doing this – to save her from hurt, to save all the anguish and pain that he would cause? Maybe he would miss her if he ended this now, he loved her – he would miss waking up next to her, seeing her every day. But nothing he could think of was enough to make him cancel it now.
Rachel was almost by his side; wearing a wide smile and looking enchanted by the whole thing. He could not do that to her; he could not hurt her or anyone like he would be doing if he stood here and said no to her right now. He had to do it, he had to say yes and go through with it.
Rachel took his hand and rosy red cheeks flanked her white, glistening smile.
Soon the confetti was raining down on top of him and he started his journey into the long field.

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~ by S.G. Mark on March 17, 2012.

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