Day 166 – Danger in an Instant

Word count: 648

The machine lay in tatters on the floor. Cracked pieces of circuit board and electronics had scattered like debris from an asteroid. There had been no warning, no evidence of what was to come at all. Now the living room stirred with an uneasy tension that both parties were presently drowning in.
Jack stared down at the former laptop wearing an expression that described his state of mind as being somewhere in between confusion and shock. Had what happened actually happened? Did he really see that monster rip out of his partner and seek such rampant destruction?
He stared over at his feeble-looking girlfriend. Sarah’s eyes were looking neither at him and neither at the wreckage. Instead, they were focused at her feet, or possibly a place much farther away in her mind. She was biting her fingernails, the way she does when she is stressed. Sarah gets stressed over nothing these days. Jack finds it hard to understand her sometimes.
Neither of them spoke for a while. Jack was lost for words. It had been a little argument. A minor, minor argument – more a discussion by definition – there had been no anger, no animosity.
“I’m sorry,” Sarah broke the stillness with her squeaking voice, smothered by her tears.
Jack huffed and puffed; he sighed and raised his arms up in the air to signify he had no words.
“I did it again.”
Jack, too, felt his own monster rise inside him, “What? What can I say? It’s okay, it’s alright? Don’t do it again?”
“No! I… I know…I know what you want me to do…”
“Then why don’t you do it?”
“It’s hard! It’s really fucking hard!”
Jack threw his arms in the air again, “What’s the point? What’s the actual point? You just sit there and cry and I’ll go comfort you and then you’ll forget everything I’ve said… You never listen!”
“Neither do you!”
“Look what you’ve done to it!” Jack motioned towards the laptop’s remains.
“I’m really, really sorry!” Sarah stamped her feet on the ground violently.
“There you go again! I don’t know what to do with you sometimes… one minute you’re fine… one minute everything is happy and rosy and the next… the next – this?”
Jack shook his head, the monster inside him quelled and stormed around his stomach. He burned with rage. Worse and worse she had been getting. Every week there would be something different, some new crap to deal with. Jack did not have any idea how to control it. His own girlfriend would turn suddenly into this weird monster of rage and anger and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Always in the aftermath she would return to the fragile little sobbing mess that she was currently in.
“What do you want me to do? I can’t cure you. I can only comfort you… But I can’t handle this…”
“Don’t leave me!” she shrieked, reaching out her arms to him.
“Leave you? Why does it always come to that?”
“Please,” she was shaking with tears.
“I don’t know what to say… before now I would have said I would never leave you…. But I’m not so sure now….”
“P-p-please, please, I’ll try, I’ll try,” she slipped to her knees at his feet and cupped her hands together, begging him.
“Sarah, you threw a laptop at me! What am I supposed to do, forget about it? Move on? I don’t even know who you are anymore!”
She clutched at his trouser fabric in desperation, “No, no, I’ll try, I’ll try, please… I need to sort things out, I’m not good right now, I don’t feel well… I’m not me…”
“No, no you’re not…. And I’m not sure you’ll ever be again…”
Jack looked hard into his girlfriend’s eyes. Could he see the monster just behind her golden brown irises, or was that just his own reflection?

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~ by S.G. Mark on March 21, 2012.

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