Day 290 – Folie a Deux – Part 18

Word count: 970

Catherine was shot out of her sleep straight into the dark of her room. For a moment she was confused as to where she was. In her dream, she had been near the mirror, gazing at her phantom limb. She felt she had left her sub consciousness there.
The reason for her waking groaned on the desk nearby. Her phone was ringing, vibrate only and its screen flashing like a siren in the dark room. She reached over and grabbed it. Jenny was calling. For the first time in weeks, Catherine picked up the phone to her – not out of wanting to speak to her, but out of wanting to shut her up.
“Jenny, I told you I never wanted to speak to you again.”
“Catherine, please, please – I need to talk to you, you’re the only one I can turn to… please….”
“Jenny, fuck off.”
“Catherine, please I’m outside your house now…”
Catherine checked the time on her phone and fell out of bed towards the window; drawing back the curtains Jenny’s dull-grey outline was revealed in the cold blue light of dawn.
“Jenny, what the fuck are you doing – stalking me?”
“Please, let me in?”
Catherine struggled with herself to decide what to do. On the one hand, she hated this girl. On the other, she had been her best friend for years… for most of her life.
“Okay, but be quiet. I’ll let you in in a few seconds.”
Catherine put the phone down and snuck downstairs, praying that her parents wouldn’t be woken and that her sister had gone to bed. Undoing all the locks and taking off the chain, she opened the door a crack. Jenny was standing there, face right to the edge of the door. Even in this dark light, Catherine could tell that Jenny had been crying. She felt a twang of guilt, had she been too harsh?
“Come up to my room,” Catherine let Jenny in, redoing all the locks and following her upstairs.
Jenny was sitting on the floor by the bed, weeping. Catherine’s instincts were to comfort her, but the pain of betrayal was still too raw.
“Catherine, Katy-Cat, I don’t know what to do…” Jenny sobbed. “I did it th-three times. It can’t be wrong. It can’t be.”
Catherine knelt down in front of her, “Can’t be wrong about what?”
“I’m…. I’m late, Cat, I’m late. I’m late and I-I-I t-t-took a t-test.”
“Oh god,” Catherine scoped the magnitude of the situation now.
“I’m pregnant, Cat. I’m pregnant.”
Catherine wrapped her best friend in her arms as she sobbed. Catherine could not find the words to comfort her. Only questions arose – whose was it, did Jenny even know? What would she do? How did she feel? It all felt far too great a conversation to be having at seventeen. Catherine always imagined they’d be having this conversation in ten years’ time with husbands, nice houses, good jobs and an excess of happiness. Instead, it was just another statistic to publish for the local council. Teenage mum gives birth, aborts, misses out on further education, wrapped in the state again. Catherine could not help it. She knew she needed to be focussing on her friend, why was she thinking of this?
Jenny took a break from sobbing and withdrew from Catherine’s suffocating hug, “What should I do, Cat?”
“I don’t know,” Catherine instantly replied, not wanting her opinions to come flooding through and taint Jenny’s decision.
“I don’t know whose it is… It could be either, I just don’t know. I feel like… like there’s this thing inside of me and… god it’s attacking me bit by bit – I want to rip it out, but it’s too small… I can’t tell where it is… I can’t tell what it is. It’s just there, eating me from the inside…”
“How long have you felt like this?”
“A couple of months. That’s how long I’ve been late by. I didn’t want to think about it for the first month. It scared me too much. But then I started feeling sick and moody. I got scared. I couldn’t go to Tom about it of course… My mum would as soon as kill me… I only had you… and I blew that.”
Catherine could not meet Jenny’s eyes.
“I’m sorry for what I did, Catherine. I knew you liked him.”
Catherine gulped. It was not the fact that she liked Dave. It was the fact that Jenny just went in and took him regardless of Catherine’s feelings. It was the fact that she forgot about Tom. It was the fact that Jenny was no longer Jenny from that night onwards. Sweet little Jenny who had dated Tom for ages was consumed by alcohol and teenage freedom.
“What should I do?”
“This is just so big. It’s… just so big.”
“Life changing stuff, eh?”
“I’ve got education to think about… I’ve got my life. I’ve got Tom. If it’s his, do I keep it? Should I keep it? I don’t know if I want to spend the rest of my life with Tom, does it matter if we aren’t together?”
“That, Jenny, is a choice for the morning. Come on, stay over. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I can’t think right now.”
Catherine pulled back the sheets and let Jenny climb in first. Catherine followed and held Jenny tightly. She cried herself to sleep, but Catherine didn’t say a word of comfort. What was there to say? Could she say anything? She was still so torn with anger and pain that she almost didn’t want to comfort Jenny. It felt like justice. But at the same time, this was happening to Jenny and Jenny was actually in pain. This would change her life forever; Catherine would get over the pain.

~ by S.G. Mark on July 23, 2012.

One Response to “Day 290 – Folie a Deux – Part 18”

  1. Oooooh, ow!

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